Consider the senior dad, living on his own – in his own home, a retirement home or other group arrangement. Chances are, statistically speaking, he is living alone, does not have much opportunity to socialize or interact with others, especially family members. Now add in the current COVID-19 situation, which has virtually eliminated the possibility of visiting with friends and neighbours, chatting over a tea or coffee, taking grandchildren or great grandchildren to the park or for an ice cream. These dads are now isolated socially; not so much invisible but certainly forgotten for the most part.
“Oh, dad? I am sure he is all right. I haven’t heard from him, so he must be okay.” Does this sound familiar? It’s just part of our image of men being independent and able to take care of themselves. This cultural assumption is what makes it even harder, in fact, for them to feel comfortable with reaching out when in need – whether that need is just a little conversation, social contact, help in getting groceries or sorting out paperwork.
Isolation is the platform or foundation of vulnerability and opens the door to abuse – financial, psychological, physical – because there is no one present to witness the vulnerability, to extend a helping hand and to help the senior. Men being victimized by abuse are certainly less represented in the numbers but they do exist nonetheless – 10 to 20 per cent of all abuse is to senior men.
On this Father’s Day, celebrate dads everywhere. Reach out to any senior dad you know – he doesn’t have to be related to you. Have a chat, ask how they’re doing, what’s been going on; check if they need anything and if you can help. Let’s all work together to make this a truly, richly Happy Father’s Day for everyone.
Someone once shared this greeting, attributed to Indigenous culture, for when you run into someone, somewhere.
“Good to see you.”
And the response is, “It’s good to be seen.” Let’s all think about that. We hold the power to ease the isolation and vulnerability of everyone, including senior men – whether they are dads or not.
Let’s make this Father’ s Day happy for everyone. It all starts with us. It all starts with hello.
For more information on helping seniors in your community, contact your local members of the BC CRN (British Columbia Community Response Networks) kpaolini@hopecommunityservices.com or sharrisonhinds@gmail.com.
