Chilliwack-Hope MP gives a pre-Christmas ribbing in rhyme in Parliament

Conservative Mark Strahl gets his poem in before Liberal Rodger Cuzner rises to do same

In what has become a tradition in the House of Commons in Ottawa before the Christmas break, Liberal MP Rodger Cuzner rose in the House this week to recite a poem poking fun at the other parties, mostly the Conservatives.

But this year Chilliwack-Hope’s own MP Mark Strahl upstaged Cuzner to some degree by rising Wednesday before the MP for Cape Breton-Canso to deliver his own rhyming ribbing.

Strahl’s ‘Twas 12 days before Christmas took aim at Finance Minister Bill Morneau’s wealth and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau removing his shirt, while praising his own leader, in part, for smiling more than Harper.

It drew raucous laughs and applause.

The full text of Strahl’s poem:

‘Twas 12 days before Christmas, almost time to head home

But first we’ll endure that Cape Bretoner’s poem

But before he gets up and makes fun of us Tories

We get to stand up and tell our Christmas story.

The Liberals have had quite a fall, it’s been swell

To see all their plans go to Morneau-Shep-Hell.

They went after our farmers and small business owners

While protecting their ass-ets, and their wealthy friend donors

And they sometimes forget, ‘cause it’s easy to do

When you’re counting your villas – is it 1, 3, or 2?

There’ve been some big changes for us around here.

We have a new leader, and fur us it is clear

That he’s younger, and taller, more virile and sharper

Than the current PM, and he smiles more than Harper.

He works hard for our party, starts each day before dawn

And the best part of all is he keeps his shirt on

He has no Mercedes, no fortune, no nannies

But he’s such a nice man, he connects with the grannies.

Yes, in 2019 it will be quite a fight.

But till then, Merry Christmas, and to all, a safe flight.

——————-

And here’s the full text of Cuzner’s poem:

Twas the week before Christmas and not much was new;

But I’ll just take a moment to offer my view.

The new Tory leader picked a political spat;

But it’s hard to take him serious with dimples like that;

But even those dimples cannot hide the shock;

Of what happened Monday evening in South Surrey—White Rock.

The Dippers believe their saviour’s been sent;

He’s bumped up their polling to 16 per cent..

To the new leader, here’s a challenge to meet;

It would be sweet to compete with Jagmeet for a seat.

The Bloc were once strong, but find themselves in a quandary;

Break up the country? They couldn’t separate their own laundry.

While opposition parties were sitting back and relaxing;

We were doing the hard work, which some say was quite taxing.

Housing and poverty, so much progress has been made;

Take, for example, international trade.

‘Cuz as much as we love trade with North Carolina;

Opportunities abound in places like China.

And if the current view of NAFTA is forced to be dealt;

I’ll hang mistletoe off the back of my belt.

There’s the far left, the alt right, and the smart in between;

I’d still bet on our boy in 2019!


@PeeJayAitch
paul.henderson@theprogress.com

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