Editor:
In a letter previously written by Mrs. Green (published in the Mar. 28 Hope Standard) , she expresses her confusion towards the use of pronouns and questions the utility of them as well. I would like to, respectfully, respond to her letter and give her some clarification on what pronouns really mean to people.
Mrs. Green, I completely understand why you would be confused about gender pronouns, as it is not as simple as it used to be when perceiving one’s gender; it used to be just black and white, but now there is so much more expression that people are allowed to have, and it may be hard to grasp at first. However, confusion should not deter us from respecting everyone’s pronoun preference, even though it would take some effort to do so.
A pronoun is so much more than just a “he” or “she,” it is the expression of their identity for the world to acknowledge. As for which pronouns to use, it is better to use their preferred pronoun rather than the perceived pronoun. It is easy to make mistakes about other people’s pronouns, so it is always possible that you could get corrected; if someone corrects you about their pronoun, they are sharing a part of their identity to you and you should refer to them accordingly.
If it is still a bit difficult to understand, I will provide an explanation through an example that you may have encountered and understood with more ease. Imagine you have a friend that has been called “Victor” all his life. Everyone that knows him knows him as Victor and uses that name whenever they refer to him. Everything that is his has the name Victor on it: his birthday cards, school assignments, and even his name-tag at work. But one day, Victor tells you that his real name is “Anthony,” and Victor is just his middle name. Would you call him Anthony even though you know he prefers being called Victor? If you had said “I’ll start calling you Anthony!” even though he did not like it, then that would be disrespectful to his request. This is the same with gender pronouns, it just takes some practice and understanding to fully get the hang of it.
I hope this has helped you and other people understand the importance of pronouns with more clarity, and I hope you may learn to apply this knowledge where it is applicable.
Justin Kilgannon