“Everyone called her Old Lady Nelson, when in truth she was maybe 32 or 33. Big Mike had kicked her teeth out the day before she turned 19. She’d been a little slow getting down to lace up his second work boot before he headed out to work that day. The scar above her right eye healed in that puckered way of untended wounds and she learned to speak, passably, without those five teeth. She became a vegetarian, of sorts, sustained on the overcooked and soft leftovers. She kept her hair in long graying side braid tied off with a bit of string…”
The above is an excerpt from one of my mother’s hidden journals, dated Nov. 10, 1943, written upon the occasion of her neighbour’s mysterious and uninvestigated death.
Somehow we often forget that, historically, domestic violence and abuse has been interwoven throughout women’s lives, that only until mere decades ago, it was considered taboo to speak of and in far too many cases was viewed as ‘normal and probably deserved’.
We have the knowledge and the power now to change it, report it, punish it and fix it. We have an obligation to raise our sons and daughters along the lines of a higher plain, if for no reason than to assure that the hidden journals written today will not contain such snapshots of abuse and horror.
Grace and healing to you.”
- Shirley Corbeil
Abuse can happen to all people and of all ages.
As we can see below from the reading Corbeil shared at our Purple Light kick-off event Oct. 1, abuse in relationships has existed for many years and is often right beside us whether we choose to see it or not.
Often, it begins early in life. Perhaps we have witnessed it in our own homes while growing up, or we have experienced it in a dating relationship, forming our beliefs around what is acceptable and loving.
We know that the future rests in the hands of our youth and the Purple Light Nights committee along with the RCMP is pleased to host a youth forum on healthy relationships on Oct. 17 at our local high school.
‘Maple Batalia — A Documentary’ is the story of a young woman who was in a controlling and abusive relationship while in high school. In spite of many of the telltale signs we have come to see as part of the cycle of violence, she struggled with how to end this destructive relationship while appeasing him and trying to maintain the facade to her family and friends. Ultimately, his obsession and anger led to her murder.
While it is a story of loss and great tragedy, it also has many lessons and truths. On Oct. 17 we will be showing this documentary to Grade 10 to 12 Hope Secondary students, and having the friends of Maple and the IHIT investigator attend. They will share their insights into what young people can and need to do to protect themselves and their friends. Healthy relationships are every person’s right – both female and male.
Marianne Brueckert is Hope RCMP’s victim services program manager and one of the organizers of the month-long Purple Light Nights campaign in Hope.
Is there more to this story?
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